Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dick very happy bro
You almost got us killed.
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