he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
