I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
