Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize