If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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