Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
