All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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