Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is wine microwaveable?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
