After last night, I could never be a politician.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize