So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
