high people should be assigned attendants
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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