please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
