Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize