She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
