Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
