i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
