i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
