I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
