I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
