He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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