Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
