my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
