If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
