I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
