i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
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