I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
