Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
