one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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