I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize