return my video game
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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