After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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