so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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