That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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