you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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