im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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