Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
