I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I will pee on everything he values.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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