She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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