Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
