question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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