ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
