Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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