Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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