READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
