I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
