We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
