i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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