god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
