belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
