we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
