called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
