He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
