Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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