There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize