Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
