Small penises have feelings too.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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