I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize