Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
