She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i was born a porn star she said
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
