Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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