One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
