i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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