Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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