so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
