In the future we'll all be gay
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
