do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
