this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
