I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
