one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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