i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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