So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
