Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
