Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
