whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
