What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
