Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
