Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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