hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
